Wen Xiaoxue's mother.
As the elderly become the main force with children, mother-in-law is no longer the only choice for bringing children, and a considerable number of families are also grandmothers with children, but we can also find a problem.
When I was young, my child was very close to my grandmother, but as the child grew up, it seemed that he didn't like to go to his grandmother's house more and more? Could it be that it is true to raise a "white-eyed wolf"? It's not.
The love of the old man will be partial, and the child does not understand nothing.
My friend Xiaomei's children grew up in their grandmother's household, because the couple was busy with work at that time, and her mother-in-law was not in good health, so the child was always taken care of by her grandmother.
When I was a child, the child was very sticky, and the grandfather was also very good to the child, and the old two who ate and drank did not agree, but as they grew older, Xiaomei's children did not like to go to their grandmother's house.
Xiaomei was very troubled by this, and was a little annoyed, feeling that the child was a little selfish, so she asked the child why. And then the child's explanation, Xiaomei found that she was wrong.
It turned out that before the uncle's child was born, Xiaomei's child, as the only child in the family, naturally enjoyed the love of the family, but with the birth of her uncle's child, her grandfather put more care and love on her younger brother. Even many times, it is obvious that the old grandfather prefers the younger brother, so the child hurts his self-esteem.
The older the child, the less he likes to go to his grandmother's house, not to raise a "white-eyed wolf"
First, the old man puts more love on his own grandchildren.
Some grandchildren inside and outside the family are born early, and the old people themselves like children very much and raise children from an early age. But after the birth of their own grandchildren, some old people may be happier, after all, in some old people's ideas, their own grandchildren are their own family.
Naturally, the degree of care and love for the grandson will decline, and when there is a gap between the treatment of the grandson and the treatment of the grandson, the child can understand what "partiality" is when he is older, so he is unwilling to go to his grandmother's house.
Second, the trouble caused by the broken mouth of the old man.
There are also some old people who like children very much in their hearts, but when they are old, they love to nag and say anything with their mouths broken. When my mother brought my sister with the child at that time, she always asked the child in front of others, whether your surname is Hu (your own family name) or your mother's surname (Huang).
But after the child was older, my mother still asked the child vigorously, is your family ****? Do you like grandma or grandma? Are you surnamed Hu or Huang?
The more the child grows up, the more sensitive he is to these problems, and if he talks too much, the child will feel a little uncomfortable in his heart, feeling that his grandmother does not regard him as his own family, and always uses the surname to say these problems.
Third, the family nags too much, and the children do not like to listen.
After the child is older, the number of times he returns to his grandmother's house is not much, the elderly or the grandmother's family cares about the child, and every time he comes, he must ask the child how his grades are, don't make trouble and study hard, these clichéd questions.
Children hate being asked these offensive questions, and if they are asked this every time, the child naturally does not want to go to his grandmother's house to avoid being nagged.
Fourth, grandma is stirring things up inside.
When the old man is a little careful, as his own grandson, grandma naturally hopes that the child is closer to herself, and silently compares. Then in daily life, it is inevitable to say some high and low words, and these thoughts will invisibly affect the child's feelings for his grandmother.
Grandma and grandmother are relatives and deserve the love of children.
Whether it is grandma or grandma, they are the child's relatives, as long as the grandmother and grandma love the child very much, then parents should also respect the love of the elderly for the child, and do not deliberately induce or favor.
Moreover, in the face of a certain trampling of the elderly, parents should also actively guide their children, telling them that whether they are grandparents or grandparents, they need to respect and love.
Similarly, in the face of comparisons between the elderly, parents must also learn to resolve embarrassment and teach their children to speak. In the grandmother's house, they naturally love the grandmother, in the grandmother's house, they naturally love the grandmother, they think carefully about this, say some good things to coax, the old man can take out all for the child.
Interactive topic: Why do you think children don't like to go to their grandmother's house when they are older?
I am Xiaoxue's mother, a post-90s mother, follow me, and share scientific maternity and parenting knowledge every day!
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