The other day, a girl in my group asked everyone this question. What does it mean that a girl is repeatedly deceived by different men? A girl replied to her, proving that this girl was too cheap and frivolous. I think this answer is unfair. In my opinion, deception and frivolity are not necessarily connected.
Many times a girl meets a bad man, not how bad the girl is. If a man is really ** and he wants to deceive people, he will definitely not look for **, he will only look for fools. Therefore, she was deceived, which can only mean that she is relatively simple-minded and easy to deceive, and has nothing to do with frivolity. So why is it always her who gets hurt? Is she really stupid? Is Du Shiniang a smart person, she has read countless people, why was she still sold by Li Jia? Hurt, she committed suicide by throwing herself into the river. It's not that she's stupid, it's just that she's too lacking in love, too eager for true love, too lacking in warmth, and too insecure. So whenever someone treats her well, her IQ immediately becomes zero.
Always meet bad men, so she becomes a bad woman, of course not. It's just that she is not defensive about people, has simple ideas, and is easy to trust people, so she is easy to encounter **. Since she was a child, no one in her family has taught her how to love others, let alone how to love herself and protect herself. She grew up in an indifferent environment and deep down there was a great desire to give and receive love.
So when she **, once she meets someone who is good to her, she will give without hesitation and regard unconditional giving as true love. She does not know that love is not one-sided possession or giving, but sharing and sharing. Because in her thinking, to love a man, you have to give everything for him, otherwise it cannot be considered true love. She doesn't know that not being equally rewarded after giving love is actually the other party's disrespect for herself. Children who grow up in a family without love and respect will not have such self-awareness.
In addition, sometimes she does not necessarily meet people who intend to harm her. It's just that she put too much pressure on the other party and scared the other party away. Because she was too afraid of losing, she met someone who felt right, and hatred could not stick to that person like a plaster. Such a girl is very pitiful, she has no self, she lacks care from the people around her in life, and if someone is good to her, she hates to give everything to that person. And her emotional gains and losses also doomed her to take more detours emotionally than others. And all this is often brought to her by her native family, because of the unfortunate experience of her youth, coupled with the encounter with Bushu in adulthood, so that those childhood shadows may accompany her for the rest of her life and affect her for the rest of her life. Many women are older, but their thoughts have not kept up, most of them have not transformed and digested the harm caused by the shadow of childhood.
Many people ask, why do some girls fall on the same issue? That's because after she has experienced the hurt, she only complains about fate, but does not know how to reflect. Usually such a girl in the original family parents do not respect her, so that she has a feeling of being looked down upon since she was a child, feeling that she is very low. Especially after she met a bad man, she was hurt. She felt even more humble. It's not that she's to blame, the reason why she has repeatedly gone wrong is because no one has ever comforted and guided her when she is hit, on the contrary, it is just a bigger blow. That's why she's wrong again and again.
There is another situation, which is also very common. A girl's family has treated her very well since she was a child, thinking about her in everything and arranging her in an orderly manner everywhere. So she was eager to find a prodigal son, or to rescue a man. This is a kind of compensation psychology, because everything has been arranged by her parents since she was a child, only the matter of feelings, she does not want to be by her parents anymore. So she will do some very extreme behavior, specifically looking for men her parents don't like, that is, men who don't have the right door. Or always have too idealistic ideas about love and marriage, be regarded as a princess at home since childhood, and of course hope to meet a prince when you grow up, so you are also destined to be picky about men. But fortunately, these children, who grew up in loving and warm families, although sometimes encounter some twists and turns, but in the end most of them are lucky enough to return to the right track of life. Because as long as her parents are alive, they will not bear to let her be wronged. And even if they don't get good feelings in the end, most of their lives will not be too bad.
What is really worrying is the girl mentioned at the beginning of the article. I want to say to you, don't feel bad because you meet bad people. Or because of a bad experience, look down on yourself from now on. It's not your fault, it's just that you're too kind and think too well about human nature. It doesn't matter what others think, what matters is what you think. As long as you are worthy of the conscience of heaven and earth, you don't have to pay attention to them when others say anything. There are always people in this world who don't like you, and there will always be. You can't meet everyone's expectations. Even if you are good, some people will look at you unfavorably. What's more, you don't exist to meet the expectations of others, it's enough to be your best self. Loved, no matter what the outcome, as long as you have a clear conscience, there is nothing to regret.
It is too normal for a woman to meet a bad person in her life. But a banknote will not depreciate in value because it is dirty. A hundred bills new and old, clean and dirty are a hundred dollars, and the value has not changed. And why not a girl? There is no need to regret what has already happened, and there is no need to be afraid of what has not been experienced. Just remember that love is precious, so be sure to leave it to the person who really deserves it. Love requires courage, but you must be cautious when choosing a marriage partner, and emotional things as long as you choose to treat them rationally.
The above is my superficial view, welcome to **, exchange.
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