Humans have a harder time developing intimacy than other animals. Our motivations for finding mates are often different from those of animal friends who have followed the same courtship process for thousands of years. Attraction is an extremely wonderful thing, it is like an invisible rope pulling two people together.
Attraction is an incredible energy powerful enough to surpass a woman's physiology, which will make her almost crazy, and having a strong attraction is enough to defeat a quality man with these superior conditions. The first step in the "love five-part series" proposed by psychologist John Gray is attraction. The process of finding your partner is like shooting a shooter aiming at the bullseye on the shooting range. So what exactly can be "right in the bullseye"?
1. Similar and complementary.
If life or a date requires compatibility, then having something in common between men and women becomes a necessary condition. The human mind is a delicate instrument, always keenly looking for those of its kind who can sing and sing with itself, those whose worldviews and values are more or less similar to ours. Similarity makes us feel comfortable because it gives us an affirmation that we have made the right choices in our previous lives. We like to look for people with similar interests so we can share and have fun together.
When you meet a boy who is very similar to herself, the girl will have a feeling of "seeing each other and hating the night". The attraction is generated quickly, the feeling of electric shock appears instantly, and the intimacy germinates in an instant. But if two people are too similar, it is inevitable to get bored. So when looking for a significant other, we also desire the other person to have qualities that complement us.
But not just one complementary quality will do, we need those qualities that are interesting or make life more complete. Therefore, we are looking for partners who are both similar and complementary to us.
2. Be assertive.
Assertive boys are more attractive to women. I believe that everyone will face some difficulties in life. When two couples solve a problem together, if the boy is hesitant, afraid of this and that, and cannot make a decision, then his image in the girl's mind will be greatly reduced.
If the boy stands up at this time and makes a decision and comes up with a way to get the best of both worlds, then the girl will cast an admiring gaze. Girls have no resistance to boys who have opinions and ideas, and she will feel that such boys will feel more secure, and it is easy to have a sense of worship in her heart.
One of the best ways for boys to avoid making spare tires is not to worship women as goddesses. When liking a person, but a series of hormones secreted by the brain will affect the brain's No. 0 information transmission, making it impossible to clearly identify a person's true face, and this is also true in the eyes of lovers. People want what they can't get, and they have no fear when they get it. If you don't want to be issued a good person card, treat her like a friend. Don't give her status above her friends, have your own thoughts, and don't follow her in everything.
3. Exclusive gentleness.
When they first met, many people feel that the smallest trivia about themselves is more important than the most amazing stories in each other's lives. When the two people walked side by side on the road, the girl's shoelaces opened, and then the boy squatted down and helped the girl tie the shoelaces. After getting up, don't say anything more, give the girl a smile. The boy subconsciously let the girl walk on the side of the road away from the car, and stretched out his hand to protect her when crossing the road, always paying attention to passing vehicles. There is no need to say anything, just silently guard.
When a boy is flamboyant and informal outside, he will be very serious next to the other half, his tone will become gentle, and he will look into the other person's eyes when he speaks. In winter, I will care if the girl's hands will be cold, and put her hands in the pocket of her coat. Of course, all this must be exclusive to one person.
4. Always pay attention.
The ultimate goal of a boy is not to become the greatest lover, boyfriend or husband in the world, but to become the greatest lover, boyfriend or husband in the heart of his partner. When girls need you, give them absolute attention. This means that when a girl wants to talk to you, turn off your game, put down your phone, and show that you care about her.
The boy cares what she says, even if to him, she says trivial things. Because it's very important to her, and it means that both parties are building an emotional connection. If you're dating, give your full attention to the woman in front of you. Attention represents your feelings, and attention is also your way of expressing love.
5. Understand the most.
No matter what the girl says, what the boy has to do is always understand.
How to understand? Please ask more questions. If a girl complains to you about her buddy, don't rush to offer her a solution, don't try to distract her, don't joke, don't think you can solve the problem, and don't try to weaken the impact of the problem.
Ask her how she feels at this moment and what it means to her. This not only means that you can understand her, but that you have a genuine interest in her life, and that you are doing your best to understand the things that are important to her. When she complains to you about her mother or boss, or even gets angry with you, always remember that your first priority is understanding.
reference
Christopher Meng, Intimacy: A Bridge to the Soul
Lil Lowndes "How to Make the Someone You Love Fall in Love with You"
1, women chase men, compartment yarn, men chase women, across mom - coffee vision.
2. Love can transcend gender - the darkness wrapped in sunlight 4fcb51
3. Isn't it rich? --Crying.
4. Because of the suspension bridge effect - twelve JCNNM
5, good looking, a lot of money, can not run these two - demon godsend.
6. Because only he can see me, I can't forget him. --Xu Muyao.
7. [Erha] -- Little Devil Isshiki.
8. Because the task of reproducing offspring is engraved in the DNA of every male ** - low power consumption Oh I want it.
9. Girls can't afford to provoke - extraterrestrial heavenly demons dominate.
10. There are so many goddesses - Tao Ge Finance.
11. Long press the end of the article to like and send three consecutive times, support the author of this article to write more - ghost dhhh
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